'...time...i love ur tears fall down...to kiss our love goodbye...and no heart should go on.'

Mood: Nevrotic
Listening to: Lacrimas Profundere - Fornever
Watching: The ninth gate

Oh my god this morning i feel a bit nevrotic and alienated

Ussualy it just flies with the night, but i just guess this is the mother of all morning alienations i have ever had. Too much insomnia and too much late-night poetry lamentations have taken their toll on me.

Why does it have to be different?

Or longer?

Or worse?

This is just like one of those post-funeral mornings when you just wake up and realize that you still have the expression of a corpse lying about somewhere in your mind.

Or like the leftovers of the most depressing day in your life.

Or maybe, like the worse dissapointment you can ever witness, after about 2 years of self-convinced belief in something.

Did i just waste 2 years of my life? Did i just meet my next worse nightmare? Or did i just contradict my on theory according to which no time is wasted, no matter what?

But i guess i'm just dead scared that i no longer have anyone to acctually belong to

No matter how much sense that makes....at least i'm pleased i wrote this